Photo from Going Gray Blog
I have a friend who over the years (3 decades) traveled to Khamit Kinks religiously from quite a distance to have her natural hair twisted, braided and eventually her Locs groomed. She had Locs for approximately 20 years and they were beautiful. They started out an off black color, then salt and pepper and then mostly silver. Of course they grew long and Joan always had thick hair, so she had a head full of thick, long, lush, silver Locs.
However, there came a time when Joan was growing restless with her Locs and so she initially cut them shorter, into a bobb style. That was cute and worked for a while. About a year later, she decided she was ready to cut them off completely. Not only did she cut them off she decided to try a completely different look and had her hair straightened and curled. This surprised me, but then again it didn’t. Life changes, interests and inspirations change and I’ve come to know that we must follow our hearts. While Joan did straighten her hair, I must admit, I am really happy that she didn’t color her beautiful silver hair. I love silver hair and even made a video on the beauty of silver hair.
Recently, we were on the phone and I asked my friend how she was enjoying her new look. She told me that she was enjoying it, then proceeded to say that she’s having more attention from men than ever. I didn’t pick up on the connection so I asked her what did she think the difference was, why all this rhythm now? Imagine my shock when she said “It’s the hair”. These men who have seen Joan with her Locs over the years, in church, every Sunday were cordial to her but never had much to say to her. Now she says, since her new look of straightened hair, they won’t shut up!
Needless to say, I was floored by this revelation. I wondered is it men of a certain age, men of a certain religious affiliation or a large segment of black men (who aren’t in my world) in general who don’t like Locs or natural hair? Would this new found attention from men who have known you all along be flattering to a woman or would she decide that these men were superficial and decide to be “just cordial” to them the way they were to her for so many years???
I would be offended! It reminds me of the first time I wore extensions. They were flawlessly beautiful and finally I had long hair, the long hair I had dreamed about all my childhood. But to my surprised, I was turned off by the sudden intense attention I was receiving. Mind you, this was the late 70′s, long before most people knew anything about extensions, particularly men had no clue and they really thought these long braids were my real hair. I decided it wasn’t me that they were interested in, but the length of my hair. What a turn off! That was a big ‘Aha’ moment for me and a turning point in my discovery of me.
Does a woman have to have straight not kinky, long not short, color not silver or gray hair to be considered really desirable to black men in 2012? I think not, but maybe I’m living in a bubble. Most of the pics here are of women of a certain age wearing their natural textures and silver and they all look stunning to me. What do you think?
